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Yesterday I did two things that make many people want to curl up in the fetal position and rock themselves silly – I drove a bus for a group of teenagers going on a school trip, and hung out for a couple hours at hotel filled with teenagers at some sort of convention (two separate events).  As I watched all these young folks milling about, I was mentally cataloging a list of behaviors – universal tendencies if you will.  After fifteen plus years in student ministry, I can pretty confidently assert that teenagers are, in many ways, just teenagers.  With that in mind, and because it’s a sunny day and I’m feeling fun, here is a quick list of some of my favorite teenager-types (3 from the bus, and 3 from the convention).  Feel free to add some of your own.

1. Stand up on the bus guy.  This seems to be a pretty strongly male characteristic.  On every bus trip ever, there is one kid that just seems to find standing up while the bus is moving irresistible.  He’ll tell you he’s trying find his gum/ipod/water bottle/socks but in reality he has one of two agendas in mind: 1) “accidentally” fall into the lap of the girl he’s too afraid to actually talk to. 2)  he envisions himself as some kind of super hero, defying laws of gravity and semi-flying down the road.

2. Get truckers to honk their horns kid. This role is open to both sexes and holds a certain amount of appeal to everyone at times. But, there’s always the kid that can’t let it go.  They can’t be satisfied with one honk, or even ten.  They believe there’s always a better honk out there and they refuse to rest (despite pleas from their now-former friends) until the hear them all.

3. Start repetitive songs kid. This is most common on the bus, but hotel lobbys and other public venues will suffice as well. There’s always one kid that wants to sing “The Song that Never Ends”, “The Wheels on the Bus”, or “99 Bottles of beer/___ on the Wall” (fill in the blank with non-alcoholic beverage of choice for the Christian kids’ version).  Like his/her trucker-horn-loving counterpart, this kid easily rallies temporary support, but insists on singing about 9 verses more than anyone else in the crowd.

4. Impress you at the convention kid.  This kid comes in both gender varieties,  but is more obvious in guys.  Take today for example. It’s 85 degrees and humid. Most guys as this convention are sporting jeans and golf shirts or t-shirts, some are even wearing kakhy shorts.  ”Impress you” guy is wearing dress pants, dress shirt, tie, and sweater.  Sure, he’s sweating a little bit, but he looks good…just needs the right girl to notice…still waiting…

5. Impress you by not impressing you at the convention guy.  This is the guy who clearly wants all attendees to understand that he is not concerned with being here.  He’s underdressed.  He’s unkempt.  He’s unimpressed.  His only concern is that everyone notice how unconcerned he truly is.

6. Super Convention Kid. Name tag – check. Dress code compliant, yet comfortable- check. Pen, pencil, highlighter, journal (not just the free conference notebook), schedule committed to memory, map of venue, background information on all speakers, and game plan for claiming optimal seating – check, check, check, check…

What are some of your favorites?

Hi friends.  It’s been several weeks since I last posted.  In the time since then, I’ve experienced something that is totally novel to me.  Simply put, I felt as though I did not need to say anything for a while.

This wasn’t a case of writer’s block – I have a running list of topics that I want to write about.  Particularly during the season of Lent, as I did my best to empty myself before God and come face-to-face with my own brokenness, I had a constant feeling that I just didn’t need to be saying anything right then.

I won’t attempt to explain it more than that because I don’t want to end up sounding like I’m trying to convince you of a great spiritual awakening or of my personal spiritual depth and maturity…it wasn’t like that.  It was just prompting to be quiet for a while.  As far as I can tell, that time has passed.  So, I’ll be putting some thoughts out here again on a regular basis.  I look forward to interacting with you all again.

With Ash Wednesday (the official beginning of Lent) coming up tomorrow and a lot of new Lent-practicers out there, I thought I’d re-visit this post from the past.

1.  Make it about giving stuff up.

For Lenten  practitioners, the 40 days leading up to Easter brings a commitment to give something up or fast from something.  This is most often related to food or drink although there are any number of other things (technology/social media is a popular choice right now as well).  The key to really hating your Lenten experience is for the thing you give up to become the focus of Lent.  Yes, some folks will treat it as season of repentance and introspection – a disciplined time of coming before God to face their own sins head-on and walk through the cleansing fires of repentance and confession – but who needs that?  It’s much easier to just say you’re not going to eat chocolate and be done with it.  Of course, you’re likely to grow really bitter about giving it up (and you’ll probably cheat here and there along the way), but at least you won’t have to deal with all the soul-searching.

2. Give up something you don’t really need.

While you’re considering what you’ll give up – try to find that balance of something that you like having in your life but that you really won’t miss all that badly six days a week.  Don’t get too radical.  Don’t make yourself too uncomfortable.  What you’re looking for is something that you can get a little put out about giving up, but can find other crutches to lean on its place – that’s the real key.  If you get too crazy giving things up you’re likely to have to adjust your lifestyle and may even feel compelled to pray for strength and discipline as you go along and who needs that headache?

3. Treat Sundays like any other day

For many, Sundays are celebration days during Lent – kind of mini versions of Easter.  If you really want to throw a wet blanket on your Lenten experience though, don’t get carried away with the Sunday thing.  Certainly you want to make sure you gorge yourself on whatever you’ve given up but otherwise, just do your normal thing.  What you don’t want to do is change your schedule, do any extra reflecting or praying (you’ll check those boxes in your normal Sunday worship service), or go out of your way to celebrate God’s presence and resurrection in your life.  The busier you can be and the less thought you can give to Sundays, the greater your potential to maximize your misery over giving up that thing you don’t really even care too much about the rest of the week.

Good luck!

Author note: I’ve learned these through experience.  I’ve also learned that a Lenten season can be salvaged by righting the ship mid-Lent if you find yourself losing your ferver and discipline.  “Lent for man, not man for Lent.”  If you find yourself having a bad Lenten experience, you have the freedom to change that immediately.  Re-evaluate your prayer time, your discipline, your priority, your fasting, your schedule – all of it.   May God sharpen all of us through this season as we move toward the celebration of the greatest moment of history.

Like most who work with young people and families in churches, I’m reading, thinking, and theorizing a lot right now about the alarming rate at which young people leave the church after high school  (recent studies put the rate upwards of 50% across evangelical denominations).  If you’re a parent or church leader and haven’t read Sticky Faith, Real World Parents, and You Lost Me (just to name a few front-runners), you need to do so immediately.  

The question that is nagging at me is this: What if the problem is not just about educational philosophy, program design, or church structure…what if it’s about a foundational misrepresentation of the Christian faith?

Christianity, at its core is a mystic religion. Simply put, this means it hinges on supernatural powers and realities.  We believe in a God who is entirely “other” than we are.  We believe that, by means we cannot fully understand, we are able to participate in the death, burial, and resurrection of God’s son Jesus.  I doing this, our sins are canceled, we partner in God’s redemptive work on earth, and we anticipate being with God forever in a place we cannot fully describe or understand.  We believe in the presence of evil, particularly as conducted by Satan (a spiritual being) and those forces working alongside him.  We believe that we are given power and direction for navigating this life by the indwelling of God’s Holy Spirit.  This (although a very simplistic representation of the whole) is a mystical set of beliefs and it is the foundation that all of our rules, practices, and principles rest upon. 

Enter the Enlightenment, Scientific Method, Rationalism, and The Industrial Revolution.  Over the course of the last few centuries, western Christianity has tried to frame itself as a rational religion.  Very simply put, his means we focus on finding answers to supernatural phenomena and we value individual responsibility and work ethic.  

This collision of world-views has created what I believe is a faith-based case of cognitive dissonance – the painful psychological state we find ourselves in when our beliefs and realities to do not match.  Unfortunately, we’ve been trying so hard for so long to rationalize Christianity that we are blind to the problem.  We are so far removed from a mystical understanding of our faith that it doesn’t occur to us to think about this as a gap in what we’re passing on to the next generations. 

Now, enter generations Y and iY (labels for those born since 1980).  These folks show up at church with a postmodern, post-Christian worldview.  They don’t feel obligated to accept propositional truth just because the preacher tells them to.  They distrust anyone that claims to have the answer.  For these people, a rationalized depiction of a mystical religion just doesn’t feel right.  Perhaps they cannot put their finger on exactly why that is.  Perhaps they don’t have a robust enough theology to explain their discomfort, but it’s very real.  And for this generation, it’s enough to cause them to look outside the church for something that seems more real. 

What if Christian faith is exactly what they’re looking for, but the modern, Western church isn’t the place to find it?  

What if the problem isn’t that they don’t want Christianity, but that they don’t resonate a rationalized version of God’s mystical work in redeeming our world?

What if they SHOULD be leaving the church because the church has reduced the mystical power and nature of God to a set of principles and formulas, which frankly, aren’t that compelling?

What if GOD is leading them out of the church, not to kill the church, but to reform and reshape her – to call her back to faithfully witnessing to the mystical, unfathomable, holy nature of the tri-une God?

Note:  These are questions that are ruminating in my mind.  They are speculations.  I do not claim to be the one person that has solved the riddle of young people leaving the church.  I am confident that the issue defies any one explanation and certainly any one blog post.  I do see some connection here though.  Please feel free to add your thoughts to the conversation. 

It seems like once a year or so I go through a period of time when I simply cannot get the Lord’s Prayer out of my head and heart.  In those few lines, Christ lays out a basic pattern for praying, a mechanism for recalibrating worldview, a full-bodied redemptive theology, and a call to incarnate the image of God as Jesus himself did (I’m sure you could add to this list, but this is what I’ve seen so far).

Right now, I’m taken with the incarnational undertones of the beautiful prayer.

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 

Don’t say it too quickly.  Don’t absent-mindedly breeze through it.  This is a game-changer, my friends.  A world-changer, actually.

In proclaiming a desire for the kingdom of God to come to earth as it is in heaven, we do not simply acknowledge God’s supremacy over all creation or even request his intervention into it.  In this one little line, if prayed honestly, we are laying down our lives and taking on the very work of Jesus.  We are dying to ourselves and coming to life again not simply as supporters or advocates of God, but agents of God.  This is a prayer that draws us into the redemptive work initiated on the cross, culminating in Christ’s return, but going on all around us right now by the power of the Spirit through anyone adventurous enough to look up to God and say, “Let’s do this!”

Yesterday, a local high school student interviewed me. She was fulfilling a requirement for her class in world religions by interviewing a leader from a faith other than her own (she is a Muslim).  Our brief conversation reminded me of a few of simple truths vital to sharing faith:

1. Know what makes your faith unique. One question she asked me was, “How is Christianity different from other world religions?”  There were about a thousand things I wanted to say about this, but since she clearly was not looking for that many, I gave her a couple of them that I thought might stand in contrast to her own beliefs.  The question got me to thinking – if you’re unable to speak of what makes your faith uniquely important, you’re not likely to hold onto it.

This is crucial for parents!

We’re raising successive generations of kids who are walking away from their faith, largely because they do not fully understand what their faith is because we (parents) either do not really know ourselves, or have not invested adequately in passing that knowledge on to them.

2. Lose the Christianese - Throughout our conversation I had to remind myself to do this.  Explaining tenets of Christian faith without using distinctly Christiany words is a challenge, but it’s a very healthy practice.  We must speak a language that people can understand.  Again, parents, this is a MUST.  To pass on a lasting faith to your children, they have to understand.  If you find words like “salvation”, “eternity”, “righteousness”, etc. coming out of your mouth while talking to your children, stop!  Try explaining whatever you’re talking about using simpler words.  If you can’t fully define them yourself, go find the answer, then come back and explain it later.  This will take time.  It is somewhat humbling.  Remember, this is the faith of your child on the line – don’t let pride stop you.

3. Be Open To Talking (not debating) – I showed up to our interview a little tense – wondering if she might be hostile toward my faith.  She and her mother were incredibly warm and thankful for my time.  We had a very enjoyable conversation.

Recently, God has been reminding me that faith is inherently an act of questioning.

Truth is truth and if someone is seeking it, God is where it will be found regardless of the questions they have to ask on the journey.  Do not lose patience or slip into judgement mode when someone is coming at things from a very different direction.  The conversation itself, the act of processing ideas, your explaining the vital parts of your faith, these are the spaces where God can do great work.  Remember, you are not equipped to convert anyone.  Conversion happens in a person’s heart – only God can do that.  Our job is to lovingly share what we know, to invite others into conversation about it, and exude the very love that drew us to Christ in the first place.

Even though he was before my time, I’ve always kinda liked Johnny Carson. One of the first things I ever remember seeing on television was Carson doing his Carnac the Magnificent bit.  I remember one time hearing Carson discussing the difference between television and movie stars.  He said that television stars are the kinds of people we’d walk up to on the street and engage in a conversation.  They seem like ordinary people to us – the kind of folks we’d like to get to know.  Carson said that this is because they exist in a little box that sits in our living room – they are “among us” (it was more humorous when he said it).  Movie stars tend to intimidate people more, Carson said.  When we go to movies, we look up to huge screens with enormous, larger-than-life images of celebrities and it creates a sense awe and other-ness.  If we see them in public we’re inclined to give them space and respect their privacy.

I think a similar thing happens to us in our understanding of Jesus.  We think of him as Savior, Messiah, and Lord.  We remember him as the Son of God who came to earth, turned religious practices upside down, and heroically died for all of us.  To be sure, these are all deeply and importantly true, but they can tend to create a Carson-esque movie-star understanding of Jesus making him seem almost unrelatable.  This is not the Jesus of the Christmas story.

Jesus was a baby – born in the same painful, very human way that you and I were.  He cried.  He spit up.  He did all the things babies do…all of them.  Sometimes I think it makes us uncomfortable to think of Jesus this way, but this is how he wanted us to think of him.  He wanted us to know him as someone real.  Someone we can relate to.  Someone we’d walk up to in a coffee shop and have a conversation with.  The incarnation of Jesus was not just a theological necessity for achieving the salvation of humankind; it was an act of love committed by a Savior who yearned to connect with us and for us to connect with him. 

During a lunch conversation today, the topic of motivational speakers came up.  We agreed that speakers at conferences, seminars, etc. can  leave us feeling like personal failures – like we should’ve accomplished more by our age, should have better ideas, should work harder, etc.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I work hard.  I try to be excellent in the things that I do as an act of worship to God.  However, I also believe that there is a time to embrace the meaty part of the bell curve.  That big bulging center is there for a reason – because that’s where the vast majority of us exist.  The fact of the matter is that most of us are not going to be the best-of-the-best.  Most of us are not going to actually change the world or strongly impact our culture.

If no one has told you yet, let me be the first to say it…that’s OK!

I’ve witnessed hundreds of kids investing thousands of dollars and hours into their sport or their art.  Nearly all of them graduate high school and leave it all behind.  I’ve seen adults shell out millions of dollars to be motivated, trained, and inspired.  Nearly all of them end up about where they were before.

Maybe we should spend less time worrying about why we’re not more, better, smarter, richer, etc. and spend our time embracing the life God has called us to.  Enjoy the people that make your life meaningful.  Find significance in the way that God is using you right now and allow yourself to see that it is important to the Kingdom, even if no one is writing books about it.  Understand that where you are right now is God’s gift to you also – life is not just about the future.  The real action is in the now.

God rarely uses the best-of-the-best to do the really important things anyway.  He’s all about the dark-horse; the underdog; the anonymous. If God needs you to change the world, it’ll happen.  It won’ t be because you patterned your life after a motivational speaker, but because you patterned your life after the simple, contented way of Jesus and his followers.

I’m afraid that many of us waste the best of our resources and focus on trying to be something that we never will be instead glorifying God with who we already are.

Embrace the life God’s given you.

Embrace the normal.

What if…?

This question has been coursing through my brain the last few days.  Inspiring me.  Challenging me.  Even intimidating me a bit.  It’s a powerful question because it can only be answered out of the imagination.  It begs the consideration of another idea; another point of view; another option.  It’s the kind of question that gets you moving again when you feel stuck in the mire of routine and predictable.

I believe God asks this kind of question.

What if I created a species that I could fully express me love for? What if I made it their choice whether they’d return my love? What if I went down there and died to make things right? What if I put the physical expression of my love in the hands of a bunch of sinners and let them be the ones to share it with people who haven’t heard the story?

Churches should ask this kind of question.

What if we took all those “go” passages seriously? What if we committed really sharing each others’ lives? What if we expected God to do adventurous, bold things in and through us? What if we committed to honoring our core values while also committing to innovating all of our practices to resonate with our culture?

Individuals should ask this kind of question.

What if I oriented my life toward God’s priorities, not just making more money and living comfortably? What if I asked God how I should spend my money? What if I asked God where I should live? What if I asked God to show me how I could best serve him and the church? What if he talked back?

Families should ask this kind of question.

What if we budgeted for generosity? What if we raised our children to be bold, adventurous, passionate servants of God? What if that meant they didn’t go to college? What if, as a family, we discussed how we could best use our resources to honor God?

This is a question that invites us into the heart of God’s work in the world – into increasingly fuller expressions of faith.  God’s work is creative.  It’s imaginative.  It’s bold.  It’s scary.  It’s dangerous.  But then, that’s how following Jesus is supposed to be (think, “Pick up your cross and follow me.”)

What if…?

It beckons us into the future of God’s work in and through us.  It frees us of the chains of boredom, empty ritual, and cultural irrelevance.

Go ahead.  Ask.  I dare you.

What if…?